we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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