Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
they're like a gay fantastic four
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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