I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
