Soap is not a condiment
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
