Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
