everyone is single if you try hard enough
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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