so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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