I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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