Is it normal to miss your booty call?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
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I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
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It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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