if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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