Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
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Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
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I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?