I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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