i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
