I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
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he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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