He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
