Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
