can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
