Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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