you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
