I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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