I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize