Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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