so let's talk penis.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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