I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Your penis caused this!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
