He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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