afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Randomize
