She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize