Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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