fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize