The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
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