I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
