He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I wish there were birth control emojis
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
