We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
