i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
