Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
my liver is dry heaving
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
try to milk me bitch
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