I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
