It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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