I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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