Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
