You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize