Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I got inside last night via doggy door
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
