I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
