Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
