Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
