Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
