i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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