Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
