Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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