dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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