I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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