His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
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