okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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