I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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