oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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