u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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