windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
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