why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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