i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
