someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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