I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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