I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
