but the lizard people decide everything anyway
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
