the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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