If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Send help, water and tortillas.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
