All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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