Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Come on in and take your pants off
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