You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
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