I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
