How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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