he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
