I got chris browned last night
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
