Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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