Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
