i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
