i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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