this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
