I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
