Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
