just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
