it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Randomize
